Hammers, Books and a Gate

I don't lend books or tools unless I don't care if I ever see them again. Selma Rae lives with me here, so if she borrows a book it's not really borrowing - it's just "the" book and she happens to be the one reading it. But she has my hammer and it's the third day she's left it in the car. It's not "the hammer" it's my hammer. Hers is more petite - like for hanging pictures. Mine you could build a house. I could go get it but she keeps saying she's gonna bring it in and I keep thinking she means it.

Now, what I'd like to know is what is the real difference between this kind of behavior and my not fixing the driveway gate til I get around to it? I'm not bugging her bout bringing in the hammer, so why's she so fixated on that gate? I'll fix the gate when I get my hammer.

This weblog is therapeutic. The PTA lady was right!

MM

Crackers

My girlfriend, Selma Rae, says the typewriter font I was using is distracting. She says people have more choices and I shouldn't choose what I used to have to have when I could have almost anything I can imagine. Well, if that is the case, I'd have Gina Lolabrigida in 1966, not Selma Rae telling me how to manage my weblog.

I refuse to say "blog". I mean, I just said it, but it's short for "weblog" and how much harder is it to say "we" than just "blog"? Speaking of We, I wouldn't give up my Selma Rae for all the Gina Lolabrigidas in heaven or earth at any time! I was just saying that because Selma Rae was looking over my shoulder eating graham crackers.

Now the tea's whistling. Gotta go. Tea and graham crackers with Selma Rae Sunshine is one of my life's true pleasures. I hope you like this font.

MM

That Woman and My Psyche

There's a thing women do that really rankles me. I just don't get it at all, but at the same time, I do. By my age I've seen it all, but then again there's always something new. Women don't like anybody suggesting their mood is because of that certain time of the month, and really my girlfriend is in the menopause so I don't know about the cycles. But I digress. What they do is, they try to make a man talk about something when there's nothing to talk about.

I don't mean what movie I like or what's for dinner, I mean - feelings. She (Selma Rae) will come out of the blue with some edgy concern, and then when I let her know I don't know where she's coming from, she tells me I have issues I don't know about. If I don't know about 'em, there's probably a good reason I haven't been informed by my own conscience.

A woman trying to make a man talk when he's got nothing to say is kinda like when a man insists on sex when a woman's got a headache. To her defense though, God bless her, Selma Rae's seldom got a headache!

That's all for now,
MM

Welcome to my Blog!

Hi. My name's Max. Sometimes I just say, in natural conversation, things that make people say, "Hey, that's pretty good." Since there's an internet now I thought I'd take advantage and start writing some of these things down, expand on a few of them even. My book, Dogma of the Saints hasn't fared so well, so I might include chapters of it here, too. I shouldn't try to make you think I'm self effacing - the book hasn't been published because I'm still working on it. Maybe this weblog will help me complete the task.

Thank you for coming. I'll hope to keep you entertained.

M.M.